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Sameer and I recently wrote a concise “Student Guide to Personal Publishing” which was published by Jostens (the class ring and yearbook company).  They contacted us looking for information they could provide to students, parents, and educators about being safe and responsible when publishing material both online and off.  While we regularly discuss these issues in our presentations, we didn’t have anything written that could be easily distributed.  Now we do.  Feel free to download the guide and distribute it far and wide.  As always, if you have any comments, thoughts, or feedback, let us know.

We have long thought that one of the best ways to deal with cyberbullying (from prevention through intervention) is to involve teens.  Including youth is essential in any comprehensive and coordinated community response to cyberbullying.  Earlier in the week Sameer posted a blog discussing the ways that older teens can be used to mentor their younger counterparts in learning how to use technology safely and responsibly.  As a follow-up to that discussion, we just published a fact sheet that includes 10 ideas for practical activities that teens can easily do to work to prevent cyberbullying in their communities. This, however, is just a starting point.  What other ideas do you have that can allow teens to get actively involved in preventing or responding to cyberbullying?

If you look at any “Top Ten List of Ways to Keep Your Kids Safe Online” that you find on the Internet, no doubt one of the recommendations that you will find near the top is: “Keep the family computer in a common area of the house.”  While this is sage advice, it is also overly simplistic.  First of all, everyone has a friend who has a computer in their bedroom.  In fact, 56% of youth in our most recent survey reported that they had a computer that was connected to the Internet in their bedroom at home.  So your child will simply go to someone else’s house to surf in privacy.  Second, they can often access the Internet at school or at the local library.  You might think that filters will prevent your child from accessing inappropriate content, but think again.  Ask your typical teen and they can talk you through ways around filters.  And while teachers and librarians try to monitor computer usage, it can be difficult to continuously watch.  Finally, if your child has a web-enabled cell phone, they have a computer in their pocket – no need for a big clunky machine in their bedroom.  Nearly 50% of the students in our most recent survey said they could access the Internet from their cell phone.

I tend to take a slightly different view of this particular problem than most.  Without a doubt, parents need to monitor what their kids are doing online.  But instead of completely prohibiting access at home or in one’s bedroom, consider being more creative.  For example, maybe you allow your teen to have the family laptop in their rooms for one hour each night for approved purposes only (e.g., homework).  You tell your daughter that you have installed tracking software and that you will review everything that she has done on the computer on a regular basis and if she violates the agreed-upon rules, the technology will be taken away.  On the other hand, if she demonstrates responsibility over a period of time, then additional privileges will gradually be granted.  For example, maybe at some point you allow your child to go onto Facebook for up to an hour per day (after homework and housework is done!).  Another condition of Facebook usage might be that they help you (the parent) set up your own profile and then they must be your friend.  That way you can see everything that your child is doing on the site and ask them about unwise postings or unfamiliar people.  Doing this at a relatively early age (13 or 14) will help to instill responsible practices at an age when they will still listen to you.  If you wait until they are older (16 or 17), you will likely miss the boat and they may have already established questionable practices.

In short, I would like to suggest that parents be creative about encouraging responsible technology usage.  Don’t assume that your child will have the knowledge necessary to make good decisions while online.  We take a long time to teach our kids how to drive a car, and eventually we have to let them drive alone.  We only do this after many many hours of practice and instruction.  Some will get into accidents or receive speeding tickets.  Many will not.  The same is true with technology. If given instruction and guidance, I am confident that most teens will avoid the pitfalls associated with technology.  Ultimately, parents themselves are the best judge of their child’s ability to be responsible, and frankly some kids will not respond well to the added responsibility and privilege.  Parents know when to sign their child up for driver’s education classes, when to have them get behind the wheel for the first time, and when to turn them loose on their own (after getting their license or course).  Parents also have a responsibility to ride shotgun with their kids on the information superhighway.  Putting the time in early will pay dividends over the long haul.

Our colleague Anne Collier from NetFamilyNews made us aware of an email that Anthony Orsini, a middle school principal from New Jersey, sent to parents a couple of weeks ago imploring them to prohibit their children from participating in social networking sites. As reported on CBS and elsewhere, the letter Orsini sent to parents included the following text:

“Please do the following: sit down with your child (and they are just children still) and tell them that they are not allowed to be a member of any social networking site. Today! … There is absolutely no reason for any middle school student to be a part of a social networking site! Let me repeat that – there is absolutely, positively no reason for any middle school student to be a part of a social networking site! None.”

Sameer and I have been exploring adolescent social networking for almost 5 years and even though we see the worst of the worst in terms of behaviors, we also agree that such examples represent the exception, not the rule.   In general, we believe the benefits of social networking outweigh the negatives and potential risks, if youth learn to use the sites responsibly. It is certainly a very good idea for parents to talk to their kids about what they are doing online, though simply banning access to technology, without just cause, is a big mistake. For one thing, it is literally impossible for parents to completely prevent their children from participating in social networking. If they really want to be on social networking sites, they will find a way to get on: they will go to a friend’s house or log on at the library or pursue underground social networking sites that are less well known or regulated.

It is a much better strategy for parents to carefully express their concerns about these environments and teach youth how to be responsible online. Tell them that it isn’t a good idea to accept as friends those who they do not know and trust in real life. Demonstrate the dangers of posting too much personal information online. Show them how to use the privacy settings. Provide them with examples from the media where teens have gotten into trouble for misusing social networks. Our research suggests that teens are listening and improving social networking practices! Print this out and give it to them. Odds are they will be just fine if they abide by these commonsense guidelines.

Then, have your kids help you set up a Facebook page and tell them that they need to be your friend. That way you can see everything they are doing on the site and you can remind them about what you talked about if they slip up. And you can send them gifts on Farmville.

It is very important that parents and others work to instill responsible practices in youth at a relatively early age – when they will still listen. Banning access is a short-term solution that will likely create additional problems in the future when teens eventually do go online and don’t have the skills necessary to responsibly navigate the World Wide Web.

By the way, as Anne points out on her blog, the same week that the New Jersey principal distributed the email encouraging parents to ban participation in Facebook, the Boston Globe reported that Obama’s pick for Teacher of the Year regularly uses Facebook in her classes. As you know, we have discussed the issue of teachers interacting with teens online in multiple posts on this blog. While I am not sure that we have come to any definitive conclusion, it is interesting to see examples from both sides of the issue come up in the news recently. What do you think: prohibit or promote the use of online social networking?

Formspring.me, launched in November 2009, is a user-to-user question and answer web site. If you sign up, the site presents visitors to your page with the ability to anonymously ask you anything via a web form.  You can then post your answer, along with the question, for all to see.  A benefit of Formspring is that allows youth to field questions from their peers and others who are thereby (by submitting such questions) demonstrating interest in them.  We all want others to demonstrate interest in us.  This meets an inherent social need.  It also gives adolescents a platform from which they can assert their viewpoints and opinions, as elicited by the questions that are asked of them.

The negatives of Formspring, however, may outweigh this positive.  First, there tends to be many questions asked about sex and sexuality – and done so in an disgusting, perverted manner.  Second, the site appears to foster the open sharing of hateful, profanity- and obscenity-laced statements – against the page owner, against peers (ostensibly from school), and against others who have asked questions.  Some even include clear encouragements for others to kill themselves and thereby make the world a better place.  These statements circulate in a whirlwind of middle-school and high-school drama that kids can easily get swept up in – to a point where it consumes their life.  Third, I have seen personal information such as full names and even cell phone numbers of youth being posted on Formspring pages – a phenomenon we’ve extensively studied in our MySpace research (summarized here and here).  Finally, it may be further contributing to a culture of teens who are tremendously self-involved and always obsessed about what their friends and acquaintances are saying about them (and consequently how they feel about them), and what is being said about their friends and acquaintances.  This may be a problem if it leads youth to become what others want them to be, instead of staying true to themselves.

The biggest story related to Formspring has to due with the suicide of 17-year-old Alexis Pilkington from Long Island, New York.  It has been said that apart from being harassed at and around school, Alexis was bullied on Facebook and also on Formspring, although my colleagues and I have yet to see actual proof of this.  If you can clarify the extent to which Formspring played a role in her death, please let us know, as it would not be far-fetched to believe that comments on the site *partially* contributed to this tragedy.  Regardless of whether the site played a role, it has brought increased scrutiny to how adolescents are interacting in that environment.  However, it remains unfortunate that it keeps taking stories involving the loss of life to spur many to action in paying attention to the painful peer conflict situations that youth wrestle with on a continual basis.