Is Cyberbullying Really That Bad?

Article posted by Justin in December 22, 2008 at 1:01 pm.

(6 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)

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We recently received this email and I thought I would respond to it here so that others too can add their thoughts:

Dear CyberBullying.us ~

I recently discovered your website as I was wandering the internet. I read some of the stories on your site and I would just love it if you could publish my words. I am 18 from the UK. I have been using the internet since I was 4 years old. And I have had some experiences with ‘cyber-bullying’, as it is now called. Funny, we used to call it “people being idiots”.

As most people who have been actually bullied in real life will tell you, cyberbullying is really stupid. “Oh no. Some girl said to me in an email “ur fat lulz”. I’m scarred for the rest of my life.” Nowhere NEAR as bad as getting hit, punched, abused, ect.

I myself have had many arguements over the internet, ranging from ones that are deeply personal to stupid things. (Such as who runs the police department on a game.)

However, I feel that people are getting used to a cushy real life, going on the internet and expecting it to be all cuddles and joy. It is NOT. And it isn’t in the ‘real world’, either. I’m not saying that bullying isn’t wrong, but I am just saying that it’s a tad immature to go whinge on and on about some immature kid who called another immature kid names OVER THE DAMN INTERNET. ITS THE INTERNET, SERIOUSLY, COME ON. THEY CAN’T HURT YOU. Just dish out what they say right back to them.

Always letting my opinions be heard.

Thanks —

Alastair

Dear Alastair,

Thanks for your thoughts. We agree that all forms of bullying are hurtful and that the physical effects of “real life” bullying can be very damaging. I will disagree with you, however, when you assert that the effects of cyberbullying are trivial or inconsequential. To be fair, a lot of things said and done online are relatively minor and should be ignored, but there are a lot of very serious instances of cyberbullying that result in long term harm to those who experience it.

As an 18-year-old adult, it may be hard for you to understand, but as a young teenager developing through adolescence, peer approval is everything and what your peers say to you online and off can have dramatic effects on your daily life. And the fact that a victim can never really remove him or herself from an online bully makes it even more difficult to handle. Some people say that victims can simply turn off their computers or cell phones to remove themselves from the situation. Those who have been to our presentations know that this simply isn’t an adequate response. For one thing, you don’t have to be online to be cyberbullied (e.g., if I create a web site containing rumors about you and then circulate it among others at school). Also, since when has it been appropriate to blame the victim? So I am being cyberbullied, and now I can’t use my computer or cell phone? Pretty ridiculous if you ask me. But, if you don’t believe me, and still feel that cyberbullying really isn’t that bad, feel free to contact John Halligan or Tina Meier, or any of the other parents here in the U.S. who recently lost their children due, at least in part, to the effects of peer harassment carried out online. Cyberbullying was so unbearable for these teens that taking their own life was evidently a better option for them than living with the torment.

Thanks again for the comment and I am hopeful that you will come to understand that even though cyberbullying is not physical in nature, it is still harmful. In the words of a 14-year-old girl who told us about her cyberbullying experience: “They say sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. That quote is a lie and I don’t believe in it. Sticks and stones may cause nasty cuts and scars but those cuts and scars will heal. Insultive words hurt and sometimes take forever to heal.”

Tags: cyber-bullying, cyberbullying, online harassment.
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Sam

I have to agree with Alastair. Most cyberbullying can be easily disregarded; thrown to the wind. The only reason cyberbullying works so well is because you let it get to you. "fists and stones may break my bone but words will never hurt me" isn't just a quote, it's a pledge. It's a commitment saying that no words will bring you down, that words can just be words and nothing more. If you can't pledge to not let the words hurt you, then you deserve to be hurt by them. It may sound harsh, but cyberbullying is harmless unless you let it harm you. The internet shouldn't change because you find it insensitive, you should change, and be less sensitive about the internet. Can't handle it? Leave, and take your 14 year old girl with you. Call me a monster, but the internet is the last place where true free speech can exist, and your sensitivity is going to take that away. If you remove harassment from the internet, defamation of character is next, then goes descent. Call me paranoid, but it's not something I'm just going to give away.

Prove me wrong.

Sam.
http://www.madmathlabs.com Tyler

I have to agree with Cyberbullying.us

Online cyberbullying will often times lead to offline bullying. We have learned after the numerous murders and sex offenses that online threats are very real. The truth is you don't know who you are talking to over the internet. They could be anyone. So there is a risk that is taken when a user enters into a chat with an unknown individual. Predators find the internet an easy means to take criminal actions because of the high level of anonymity the internet presents.
http://www.smeech.net Scott Meech

Your opinion on cyberbullying is inacurrate because you are not representing what cyberbullying is really about. Cyberbullying isn't about name calling and immature taunting. Cyberbullying takes on another level as it is about ruining reputations and identity theft. There are many more components than these two examples and I would ask you to continue to investigate the issue beyond the site you mentioned in your post. I wish cyberbullying stopped at name calling or immature quips. I respectfully disagree with your premise that cyberbullying isn't that bad.
Robert DeVine

I just cant understand why people let them selves be bullied over the net. On myspace the solution is make your profile private or just block those users. Being at a young age has nothing to do with being more of a victim. I got made fun of in middle school on the bus for not having the right cloths or just random bs, I didn't care. I didn't let it get to me, at school there is no block profile button. The people who killed them self had the chance to stop it, so why didn't they?
A Man

websites like Encyclopedia Dramatica prove that cyber bullies go above and beyond simple words. Breaking into private photobuckets and posting the photos for all to see, being moles on private forums or journals and posting for the world to see, even so far as finding names and addresses or documents meant to be private and POSTING THEM FOR THE WORLD TO SEE, thus BREACHING PRIVACY.

ED and sites like it need to go down.

Dude

Net neutrality douche clown – I guess idiots shouldn't do stupid things and record themselves doing said stupid things

Ya nanna

you are all gay
ya nanna

good on ya
biged

agreed!
kurtis

yeah i am gay to
JOey

Cyber bullying is bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ellie

Cyber bullying is a serious matter that is still going on all around the world. I am 14 and i see the damage cyber bullying has caused. It isn't some thing you just say "get over it" or "isn't that bad," like some of you have already said. No one is the same, so we all take a situations differently and think differently of it. There have been deaths due the to this matter and i say it needs to stop, NOW! Everyone talks about it and suggest ways to stop it, but nothing gets done.
Sam

The definition of bull on dictionary.com is this: "a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people."

I have to say I agree with Alastair. People are being to careless when it comes to social networking sites, giving away to much information freely on them such as phone numbers and e-mail addresses. There are blocking facilities on the internet and spam report functions, people including teenagers should use them if they are being bullied. We aren't stupid, we have at least some level of common sense to be able to get rid of them.

I have had stones chucked at me when I'd walk home from school, I've almost been punched once. Had boys show me up in front of my friends and other people and can't actually get away from them because I was in the middle of a crowd of these bullying boys. You cannot get rid of these people at all, if anything this scenario is more likely to make a person want to die. I should know!

I have also been cyber bullied once or twice, but it's all empty threats and insults. Most of the time it has been anonymous which just means they are too scared to do anything like that in person. If it's not anonymous, chances are the bully had intentions of bullying originally or had already started doing so in person. This means that real life bullying starts cyber bullying, not the other way around.

I also disagree with Scott too, going back to the definition of a bully, it does not cover loan shark or the like. A bully and a loan shark are in two different leagues. The same as those who steal identities and cyber bullies are also in two different leagues. However, a loan shark and a person who would steal another's identity are related because they are both real official crimes, really very serious ones at that.

The thing is, all celebrities have a form of cyber bulling for pretty much the rest of their lives, but most of which manage because they focus on the positives of their career. just as the victims of cyber bulling should focus on the positives of the internet.

What I don't like is how cyber bullying is treated as a separate thing from bullying because it is not. It is a branch of bullying and therefore be kept an eye out for in those who have reported cases of bullying in real life. If the bullying is only occurring on the internet then it should just be treated as spam and nothing more.
Lolwhat

You'd have to be stupid if you find yourself being cyberbullied… "oh noes! maybe I shouldn't have given away all my personal information, posted awkward pics of myself, and told them all my secrets!!" Seriously, there is a "block user" button and you CAN make a new account if you have too. Yes, it is sad that their children died, but to be honest the parents were stupid if they never realized what was going on. They should have realized their kid needs help.
sxcbbe;)

i agree with Tyler. If your being cyberbullied, you probably might not want to tell someone because of fear and humiliation. I know that if i was bullied i wouldnt. i dont know bout u guys cyazzz
ohmann!

Alright.."lol what" I respect you're point but i disagree. Why don't you try being a mother who has a teenage daughter. Why don't you try getting your teenage daughter to tell you EVERYTHING. If someone was cryberbullying me i would wanna say anything about it. i would just wish for it to go away. Has anyone ever said something to hurt your feelings? Has it ever got to the point to where you couldn't handle it snymore even though it's someone you know? You can say "just ignore it" how can you ignore it when the cyberbully starts gettign personal with you, what if the cyberbully finds where you live. I'm sure you have a facebook and i'm sure you put where you're from on there all they need is just a little lea-way. thst's all. I'm sure you wouldn't beable to handle someone telling you that you're worthless every single chance they get. That's all i got
ohmann!

i WOULDN'T WANNA TELL ANYONE*
Confuzzed

Maybe you do not understand, or maybe you have never been bullied before, but I have. If you do not think it is that big of a deal, look up Megan Meiers, or just look up cyber bullying. It is truly sad, the things people do to others just for a good laugh, or because they aren't "popular."
Confuzzed

Also, now that I have re-read your comments, in some cases, I would agree with you. I once again urge you to look up Megan Meiers. Some people are emotionally unstable, and though there are some simple ways of getting around being bullied (i.e. blocking, not using the site in the first place, etc.) But in her case, she was deceived into believing that her bully was really a guy her age, that was her friend. They then "dated" (not quite sure how this part works out). This went on for 6 weeks, and then the bully (who was really a friend's mother) said that they shouldn't be friends because she was supposedly mean to her friends, and then proceeded to call her a slut, fat, etc. on her Myspace. Just reading about it will make more sense than me explaining it.
Chenise

First off I wonder if the victim involved in cyberbullying usually has self esteem issues or if they gain the problems from constantly being bullied? As an outsider you can always say what you would do. But when faced with these problems you never know. I honestly have been cyber bullied and I cried after it did happen over and over again. My story was pretty similar to some peoples story, but I think I cried tears of anger. I never got down on my self I just kept thick skin and continued to live my life. You have to be strong to do that. You have to know why people bully. In my case it was jealousy, and in many cases it is jealousy. I think another way to respond, is to talk to someone. I talked to my Mother who is a strong woman, and she helped me control my emotions toward what was being said, posted, or emailed about me. Cyerbullying is a big deal because different people react in there own ways.
Scott

As far as cyber-bullying goes, I don't really think it is as bad as it sounds. As previous comments were made about ways to avoid it I agree. It's really not that hard. People just make it harder on themselves. And after doing plenty of research, most victims that committed suicide over cyber-bullying had mental issues and disorders (like depression) that were diagnosed before they were bullied. The fact of the matter is that there will always be cyber-bullying happening no matter how much we try to end it so we just need to focus on teaching people that suicide isn't worth it. Plenty you can do. "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." The real problems lie in person to person bullying.
Ahmed MJ

Hello Everone!

Cyber Bullying is when a child or teen who uses the internet is harrased, threatened, humilated, or embaressed. Another way of cyber bullying is if a teen embaresses another teen. The results of cyber bullying are big. Some examples of the results are: complete sadness, lack of sleep, and lack of eating. Now all this is emotional results. There are also cyber bullying results that can make problems for the victims at school. At school results include: Bullying other students because of you got bullied, getting lower grades, and not listen to your teachers. Now I think that to prevent all this cyber bullying, is by letting your parents know about everything that happens with you on the internet, and if you get bullied, you must immediately go to the police station and tell them about every single thing happened with you before you got bullied and how you got bullied.
nerd

ive been cyber bullied before it isnt really a problem its just mind over matter if u let i get to you it will dont be a pansy dish it back right to them
asdf

for most of you guys who dont know cyberbullying isnt just someone saying mean things to you on the internet. it can be making a fake profile of someone on facebook or myspace and just putting bad things on there making other people think that theyre real or it could be a picture of someone being sent around cellphones.

and words really do hurt. many teens already committed suicide because of cyberbullying
holly

I had to post on here after reading some…err most of these post. I agree in regards to the quote that "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me". Since cyberbullying no longer involves just words, but can now tag photos of you real or created. They can post personal information that you've allowed "friends" to view. I am now 25 years old and I was never cyberbullied. I never put myself in that situation to let it happen (ergo I did not have a personal email account until I was 19). And the main reason was because while in a group home when I was 15 another youth committed suicide at 14 years old because someone "said" they posted a picture of him in the shower. He was embarassed. He did not think on it, he did not wait 24 hours for everything to cool down. He didn't even wait to see if anyone cared the next day. He was found dead hanging from his bunkbed before dinner. There were no pictures only a couple more guys who felt horrible for the joke as at that time it was a joke. But for someone who is insecure as a 14 year old will be regarding both their body and peer image, that was a joke that cost a life. It was a half hearted prank that took a life. Get the picture, how about this one. I am now 25 (just making it clear), my brother and his wife are seperated because someone commented via facebook on how their 5 year old "allowed" himself to ''almost'' be vicitimized by a 12 year old in the boys and girls club where he went to daycare (The older was supposed to wait at the door for my nephew, he went in and tried to force fellatio on a 3 year old. My nephew screamed and pushed at the boy enough to get a staffs attention where they intervened). Mind you this happened in Feb of 2010. These are grown people attacking other peoples children. That little boy was only 3 and people commented on this. They bullied him and his family. The blamed the parents, they accused the parents of doing worse. It was horrible. My brother and his wife have been trying to shelter their son, but were fighting others and themselves on how to handle the insinuations. We now know it was spread by a vindictive co-worker who they trusted with the devastating news shortly after finding out. This is now in cyberspace and when you search the name it comes up on the page. Please before you judge think about the implications of something never coming off the internet. When his jobs look up his profile when he's 18 they will probably see a post regarding that. His friends in middle school and high school are going to see that, and then what more bullying because that's just what kids do. Think before you speak because you cannot eat the words that you've spoken.
sheila

I also agree with Alastair. I am 20 years old and spent my middle school years being ACTUALLY bullied. It wasn't just some kid calling me stupid online. Guys would corner me in the hallway and grab me and girls would spread horrible rumors about me and turn people against me. If you're being cyberbullied, guess what? BLOCK THEM OR CHANGE YOUR SCREENNAME! That's it. It's really that simple. And if you're a parent of a kid being cyberbullied, then be attentive to your kid. Tell your kid that the cyberbullies don't even know them and try to make them feel better instead of burying yourself in work and ignoring them. Do words hurt? Yes. But I think the whole cyberbully campaign is a waste when there is real time bullying going on and administrators do nothing to stop it.
sam

i am "a young teen going through adolescence" and people are are hurt when people make fun of them on the internet are weak and deserve everything they get. i dont give a fuck if people dont like me and make fun of me, and im not going to kill myself because someone called me gay. i think this whole cyberbullying thing is blown out of proportion, as if it isnt easy to avoid talking to people on the internet. every social network has ways to mute or block people who harass you, and people who let things go until they kill themselves are just being ridiculous(oh no, im being called gay over the internet, and it depresses me so much i cant just close the web browser).
TheMan

anyone who thinks bullying is a big deal is an idiot, the problem is the kids who kill themselves ,they need help ,do you really think its normal for someone kill themselves over a little teasing,that school, the real world is much more harsh,you think they would make is then.they also think it ok to cave in because it not their fault "it's the bullies fault",stop babying your children your the one's who screw them up , theres your problem not the bullies. i wonder if these kid now you could not go on the internet, i know i was shocked too,if your physically bullied thats a different story, not a reason to kill yourself,but a different story.
this is harsh but it the true if your kid committed suicide because of bullying they wouldn't have made it far in the outside world.
i assure you there are more children who didnt take bullying to heart than "victims".
this is something that has been blown way out of proportion,im sure laws will be passed against bullying,but one day you will wake to a world where peopple flipout because some didnt greet them goodmorning,something more trivial ,thats where we heading.
Rai

Alastair is more right then anything else, and I'm agreeing with sheila. If you really want to know what bullying is instead of the petty, dulled, PREVENTABLE, internet patty cake stuff, go out to school; dress in a weird form of clothing and experience it for a day. I assure you you'll know what's real bullying after that.
Bob Saget

*You're
Oh, the irony!
Next time, before you call someone down without even supporting evidence, at least remember to use proper spelling and grammar.

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