Is Cyberbullying Really That Bad?
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading ...We recently received this email and I thought I would respond to it here so that others too can add their thoughts:
Dear CyberBullying.us ~
I recently discovered your website as I was wandering the internet. I read some of the stories on your site and I would just love it if you could publish my words. I am 18 from the UK. I have been using the internet since I was 4 years old. And I have had some experiences with ‘cyber-bullying’, as it is now called. Funny, we used to call it “people being idiots”.
As most people who have been actually bullied in real life will tell you, cyberbullying is really stupid. “Oh no. Some girl said to me in an email “ur fat lulz”. I’m scarred for the rest of my life.” Nowhere NEAR as bad as getting hit, punched, abused, ect.
I myself have had many arguements over the internet, ranging from ones that are deeply personal to stupid things. (Such as who runs the police department on a game.)
However, I feel that people are getting used to a cushy real life, going on the internet and expecting it to be all cuddles and joy. It is NOT. And it isn’t in the ‘real world’, either. I’m not saying that bullying isn’t wrong, but I am just saying that it’s a tad immature to go whinge on and on about some immature kid who called another immature kid names OVER THE DAMN INTERNET. ITS THE INTERNET, SERIOUSLY, COME ON. THEY CAN’T HURT YOU. Just dish out what they say right back to them.
Always letting my opinions be heard.
Thanks —
Alastair
Dear Alastair,
Thanks for your thoughts. We agree that all forms of bullying are hurtful and that the physical effects of “real life” bullying can be very damaging. I will disagree with you, however, when you assert that the effects of cyberbullying are trivial or inconsequential. To be fair, a lot of things said and done online are relatively minor and should be ignored, but there are a lot of very serious instances of cyberbullying that result in long term harm to those who experience it.
As an 18-year-old adult, it may be hard for you to understand, but as a young teenager developing through adolescence, peer approval is everything and what your peers say to you online and off can have dramatic effects on your daily life. And the fact that a victim can never really remove him or herself from an online bully makes it even more difficult to handle. Some people say that victims can simply turn off their computers or cell phones to remove themselves from the situation. Those who have been to our presentations know that this simply isn’t an adequate response. For one thing, you don’t have to be online to be cyberbullied (e.g., if I create a web site containing rumors about you and then circulate it among others at school). Also, since when has it been appropriate to blame the victim? So I am being cyberbullied, and now I can’t use my computer or cell phone? Pretty ridiculous if you ask me. But, if you don’t believe me, and still feel that cyberbullying really isn’t that bad, feel free to contact John Halligan or Tina Meier, or any of the other parents here in the U.S. who recently lost their children due, at least in part, to the effects of peer harassment carried out online. Cyberbullying was so unbearable for these teens that taking their own life was evidently a better option for them than living with the torment.
Thanks again for the comment and I am hopeful that you will come to understand that even though cyberbullying is not physical in nature, it is still harmful. In the words of a 14-year-old girl who told us about her cyberbullying experience: “They say sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. That quote is a lie and I don’t believe in it. Sticks and stones may cause nasty cuts and scars but those cuts and scars will heal. Insultive words hurt and sometimes take forever to heal.”
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January 26th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
I have to agree with Alastair. Most cyberbullying can be easily disregarded; thrown to the wind. The only reason cyberbullying works so well is because you let it get to you. “fists and stones may break my bone but words will never hurt me” isn’t just a quote, it’s a pledge. It’s a commitment saying that no words will bring you down, that words can just be words and nothing more. If you can’t pledge to not let the words hurt you, then you deserve to be hurt by them. It may sound harsh, but cyberbullying is harmless unless you let it harm you. The internet shouldn’t change because you find it insensitive, you should change, and be less sensitive about the internet. Can’t handle it? Leave, and take your 14 year old girl with you. Call me a monster, but the internet is the last place where true free speech can exist, and your sensitivity is going to take that away. If you remove harassment from the internet, defamation of character is next, then goes descent. Call me paranoid, but it’s not something I’m just going to give away.
Prove me wrong.
Sam.
February 4th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
I have to agree with Cyberbullying.us
Online cyberbullying will often times lead to offline bullying. We have learned after the numerous murders and sex offenses that online threats are very real. The truth is you don’t know who you are talking to over the internet. They could be anyone. So there is a risk that is taken when a user enters into a chat with an unknown individual. Predators find the internet an easy means to take criminal actions because of the high level of anonymity the internet presents.
February 4th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
Your opinion on cyberbullying is inacurrate because you are not representing what cyberbullying is really about. Cyberbullying isn’t about name calling and immature taunting. Cyberbullying takes on another level as it is about ruining reputations and identity theft. There are many more components than these two examples and I would ask you to continue to investigate the issue beyond the site you mentioned in your post. I wish cyberbullying stopped at name calling or immature quips. I respectfully disagree with your premise that cyberbullying isn’t that bad.
April 14th, 2009 at 11:56 pm
I just cant understand why people let them selves be bullied over the net. On myspace the solution is make your profile private or just block those users. Being at a young age has nothing to do with being more of a victim. I got made fun of in middle school on the bus for not having the right cloths or just random bs, I didn’t care. I didn’t let it get to me, at school there is no block profile button. The people who killed them self had the chance to stop it, so why didn’t they?
May 21st, 2009 at 1:54 pm
websites like Encyclopedia Dramatica prove that cyber bullies go above and beyond simple words. Breaking into private photobuckets and posting the photos for all to see, being moles on private forums or journals and posting for the world to see, even so far as finding names and addresses or documents meant to be private and POSTING THEM FOR THE WORLD TO SEE, thus BREACHING PRIVACY.
ED and sites like it need to go down.
November 26th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
you are all gay
November 26th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
good on ya
November 26th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
agreed!
November 26th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
yeah i am gay to
February 5th, 2010 at 11:32 am
Cyber bullying is bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
March 15th, 2010 at 2:21 am
Cyber bullying is a serious matter that is still going on all around the world. I am 14 and i see the damage cyber bullying has caused. It isn’t some thing you just say “get over it” or “isn’t that bad,” like some of you have already said. No one is the same, so we all take a situations differently and think differently of it. There have been deaths due the to this matter and i say it needs to stop, NOW! Everyone talks about it and suggest ways to stop it, but nothing gets done.
March 22nd, 2010 at 3:38 pm
The definition of bull on dictionary.com is this: “a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.”
I have to say I agree with Alastair. People are being to careless when it comes to social networking sites, giving away to much information freely on them such as phone numbers and e-mail addresses. There are blocking facilities on the internet and spam report functions, people including teenagers should use them if they are being bullied. We aren’t stupid, we have at least some level of common sense to be able to get rid of them.
I have had stones chucked at me when I’d walk home from school, I’ve almost been punched once. Had boys show me up in front of my friends and other people and can’t actually get away from them because I was in the middle of a crowd of these bullying boys. You cannot get rid of these people at all, if anything this scenario is more likely to make a person want to die. I should know!
I have also been cyber bullied once or twice, but it’s all empty threats and insults. Most of the time it has been anonymous which just means they are too scared to do anything like that in person. If it’s not anonymous, chances are the bully had intentions of bullying originally or had already started doing so in person. This means that real life bullying starts cyber bullying, not the other way around.
I also disagree with Scott too, going back to the definition of a bully, it does not cover loan shark or the like. A bully and a loan shark are in two different leagues. The same as those who steal identities and cyber bullies are also in two different leagues. However, a loan shark and a person who would steal another’s identity are related because they are both real official crimes, really very serious ones at that.
The thing is, all celebrities have a form of cyber bulling for pretty much the rest of their lives, but most of which manage because they focus on the positives of their career. just as the victims of cyber bulling should focus on the positives of the internet.
What I don’t like is how cyber bullying is treated as a separate thing from bullying because it is not. It is a branch of bullying and therefore be kept an eye out for in those who have reported cases of bullying in real life. If the bullying is only occurring on the internet then it should just be treated as spam and nothing more.
April 26th, 2010 at 12:05 pm
You’d have to be stupid if you find yourself being cyberbullied… “oh noes! maybe I shouldn’t have given away all my personal information, posted awkward pics of myself, and told them all my secrets!!” Seriously, there is a “block user” button and you CAN make a new account if you have too. Yes, it is sad that their children died, but to be honest the parents were stupid if they never realized what was going on. They should have realized their kid needs help.
June 24th, 2010 at 6:04 am
i agree with Tyler. If your being cyberbullied, you probably might not want to tell someone because of fear and humiliation. I know that if i was bullied i wouldnt. i dont know bout u guys
cyazzz