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One of the first things we learned in our earliest cyberbullying studies was that targets were not telling adults about their experiences. Even today, very few students who are cyberbullied talk with adults about what is going on. The concern we have heard from adolescents time and time again is that they are afraid to tell adults because they think they will be blamed or their cell phones or computers will be taken away. They are embarrassed or scared and overall they just think things will get worse for them if they tell an adult. Well, whose fault is it that teens don’t feel comfortable talking to us about their experiences? One clue: it’s not *their* fault. We as adults need to take the initiative to learn more about what teens are doing online (the good and the bad) and equip ourselves with knowledge and tools to prevent and successfully respond to cyberbullying when it happens.

Today starts a four day online discussion of Bullying Beyond the Schoolyard on the Education Week Teacher Web site.  If you have read our book, please join in the conversation!  There are a lot of great strategies out there and a discussion involving our book can help stimulate other innovative ideas. Only when we come together to effectively respond to cyberbullying will targets open up and share their experiences with us.  We look forward to reading your insights on the Education Week Teacher Discussion Forum.

Technology is great and we know from our research that the vast majority of teens are using it safely and responsibly. But a few are creating problems for themselves or others by what they post online. That’s why we’ve partnered with Jostens to produce a number of useful resources for you to educate yourself or the teens in your life about the pitfalls associated with unwise postings. “Pause Before You Post” is a movement to remind students to carefully consider the consequences of posting something online. Whether they are posting something private about themselves or something hurtful about someone else, the costs can be steep. Here is a short video that introduces the campaign. You can also find a number of other short videos that feature Sameer and I talking about various issues related to teen technology use here.

One of the most popular documents we wrote for this program was “A Student’s Guide to Personal Publishing” which is available here. Jostens has put together a Pause Before You Post Kit that includes posters, pins, flyers, a DVD and CD with videos and curriculum based on our research. For more information about the kit, talk to your local Jostens representative or visit the Jostens web site. Since October is bullying awareness month, it is a good time to remind students to pause before they post!

Many educators have struggled to confront the challenges associated with high-tech devices in the classrooms (especially cell phones).  Cyberbullying.  Cheating.  Distractions.  Inappropriate digital material. There is no shortage of possible issues. The seemingly easy way to respond to these concerns has been to ban all personal electronic devices from the classroom (or the entire school).  I have heard about penalties that include students being fined or surrendering the device until the end of the day or even until the end of the school year!  This is just crazy.  First of all, short of strip-searching students as they enter the school, it is practically impossible to enforce a complete ban on technology in the school.  Most administrators have largely conceded this point and therefore enacted policies which say something to the effect of: “If I see it, you lose it.”  A colleague of ours recently quipped that schools approach cell phones the same way they do underwear: “We know you have them, we just don’t want to see them in class.”  It is really unfortunate that these powerful devices have been excluded from learning environments where they could actually be put to positive uses.

Recently, however, it seems that increasing numbers of schools are looking to loosen their overly restrictive cell phone policies. We have received a number of queries over the last couple of months from districts that would like to allow students to bring their own devices, to be used for educational purposes.  It is easy to see how cell phones, iPads, or laptops could augment curriculum delivery in the classroom: flash-polling; looking up multi-media definitions of difficult concepts; pulling up a map of a far-off place; viewing a video of an endangered species…. The possibilities are literally endless.  And we also know that the vast majority of teens already have, and regularly use, these devices (e.g., 75% of 12 to 17 year-olds have their own cell phones, according to Pew).  So there is enormous upside here.

But we do need to recognize the potential problems that may accompany the positives when students “bring their own devices” to school.  It is important to stress, though, that the problem isn’t cell phones or other particular devices.  The problem is how these devices are being (mis)used by some.  Most schools already have a bullying/harassment policy.  These documents should be reviewed to make sure they explicitly cover cyberbullying.  Students, staff, parents, and others need to understand that inappropriate behaviors will not be tolerated and are subject to discipline.  And be specific—talk about harassment and cheating and disrupting the class environment by texting or Facebooking, etc.  Clearly outline the consequences for such behaviors.  Get students and parents in on this discussion.  Schools will have problems as the school community gets used to these changes, but hopefully the problems will be few and far between and will get better with time.  Students will learn appropriate behaviors and it should – in time – become the norm if done right.  For example, ten years ago cell phones were much more of a problem in my college classrooms than they are now.  University students, at least in my experience, have gotten better at cell phone etiquette and are not letting the devices distract the learning that is occurring.  Sure, occasionally a phone will go off in class, but usually the student is apologetic and immediately realizes the faux pas.  Of course middle and high school students are different than those in a univesrity, but I am optimistic that we can work through the same challenges at the secondary school level.

There should also be some discussion in school policy that administrators can conduct a reasonable “search” of the contents of these devices when there is “reasonable suspicion” that evidence of a violation of school policy is on the device.  Schools can’t search these devices whenever they feel like it, but if the search is reasonable and supported by a justifiable need, it could be allowed.  There is some debate about this, so be sure to run it by your legal counsel (you can read more about this here.  We also discuss it in great detail in our new book.) Either way, the circumstances under which school officials can search student-owned devices need to be made explicit.  This will definitely come up, so make sure you are ready.  And again, students, parents, and others need to know the standards.  If you are an educator in a school that recently opened up to electronic devices, please let us know how it is going (the good and the bad!).  If you are a student, we would appreciate hearing your experiences as well.

As regular readers of this blog will know, Sameer and I have had a long partnership with Jostens. When I was in high school in the mid-1990s, our class rings and yearbooks came from Jostens, so I knew of the brand. About four years ago, Charley Nelson, who is the director of educator services for Jostens, contacted me to talk about our cyberbullying work. Little did I know that in addition to their yearbooks and rings (they designed the 2011 Super Bowl ring!), they also coordinate a number of professional development activities for educators, mostly centered on cultivating a positive school climate. Their Renaissance Program emphasizes academic achievement, encourages student and staff recognition, and promotes school pride. We’ve worked with them over the last year to develop materials for “Pause Before You Post” – a campaign to educate teens about responsible personal publishing (online and off). See our “Student Guide to Personal Publishing” here.

The flagship event for Jostens Renaissance each year is their national conference, which draws over 1000 educators and student leaders from around the United States. I have been fortunate to have been a presenter at this conference for the past three years and I will tell you that it is flat out the best educator conference that I have been a part of. The positive energy is palpable and I leave the conference inspired and reinvigorated. There is a lot of learning and networking, infused with A TON of fun. This year, the conference is in Anaheim (July 15-17) and both Sameer and I will be there, presenting on issues related to cyberbullying, sexting, and responsible social networking. Headline speakers include Bill Walton (basketball Hall of Famer) and Liz Murray (Homeless to Harvard). If you have never been to this conference, you need to attend – and there is still time to sign up. I personally guarantee that you will not be disappointed. If you have attended in the past, leave a comment with your experience. If you will be there this year, stop by and say hello. If you are a Facebook follower, find me and mention this blog and I’ll give you a gift (while supplies last!). Hope to see you in Anaheim!

This is a common question I receive from many parents: “At what age should I give my child a cell phone or allow them to be on Facebook?” Of course this is not an easy question to answer since every child is different and parents themselves are probably in the best position to determine the most appropriate age. That said, I usually advise parents to think about allowing access to certain devices or web environments a little bit earlier than they might think is the right time. The issue really is that parents need to be the ones who introduce the technology to the child, not the youth’s peers. If parents wait too long or try to convince themselves that their child has no interest in Facebook, then odds are good that the child will learn about the site from a friend and set up a profile without the parent’s knowledge.

I recently spoke to a teacher who is a parent of a 5th grader who asked my opinion about whether her son should be on Facebook. I told her that it probably wasn’t a good idea. It is a violation of Facebook’s terms of use, and agree with them or not, parents shouldn’t encourage their children to break the rules. Thankfully there are many other emerging sites that are designed exclusively for tweens, such as togetherville, which interfaces with Facebook. Admittedly, it is difficult to get younger social networkers excited about these alternatives since “all of their friends are already on Facebook.”

And some data suggests that they are right: Consumer Reports recently reported that as many as 13% of Facebook’s American users are under the age of 13 (about 7.5 million kids). And half or more of the students I speak to Facebook hasn’t completely ignored their rules, however, as they reportedly remove tens of thousands of under-aged youth every day. Of course if a user lies about his or her age when setting up the profile, it is very difficult for Facebook to know whether someone is underage so they rely on reports of violators.

This leads to another question I get: “If I see a person on Facebook who I know to be under 13, should I report the user?” This too is a complicated question. My response used to automatically be “yes.” If they are violating the rules, they should not be on the site. I have tempered my response a bit in recent months, informed by insights from colleagues, educators, and Internet safety experts. In general, whether or not to report an under-aged user depends on whether you have a concern about them being on the site—based on what you know about the user and/or what you see on his or her profile. If you are worried that their activities on Facebook could lead to significant social, educational, physical, or other problems, then you have an obligation to report (to the site or the youth’s parents, or both). If you see a 12-year-old whom you know well who is on the site and they have their privacy settings adjusted so that all of their information is protected to the maximum extent possible, perhaps it isn’t necessary to report the user. You still might want to take the person aside and talk about some of the concerns you have (posting too much personal or identifiable information, meeting someone in real life who they only know online, including gossiping or harassing content, etc.) to encourage him or her to continue making good decisions about their online activities. As Larry Magid, tech journalist and internet safety advocate points out, changing the rules to allow younger users on Facebook would create opportunities for the site to incorporate protections that just aren’t in place when kids lie about their age. This is certainly a perspective that should be considered.

Overall, parents should provide gradual and guided access to technology. Maybe, for example, you give your son a cell phone at age 10, but to start the only persons he can call are mom and dad. After a couple of months if he demonstrates appropriate behaviors you can add selected others. Then add texting. Show him the cell phone bill every month so he knows his contribution to the family expenses. Stress that the phone is a privilege that can be taken away with misuse. If he makes a mistake, take a step back. If he is texting at the dinner table, explain to him why this is unacceptable. If he is talking to friends all hours of the night, confiscate the phone for a while. I suspect that if more parents were actively involved in encouraging the responsible use of technology, even at a relatively young age, there would be fewer and less serious problems later in their adolescent lives.