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For those of you who didn’t see, I recently wrote a blog for Huffington Post UK to correspond with the cyberbullying event in London that I was a part of.  Here it is:

Teens have been bullying each other for generations. The latest generation, however, has been able to utilize technology to expand their reach and the extent of their harm. This phenomenon is being called cyberbullying, which we formally define as: “willful and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, mobile phones, and other electronic devices.” Basically, we are referring to incidents where adolescents use technology, usually computers or mobile phones, to harass, threaten, humiliate, or otherwise hassle their peers. For example, youth can send hurtful text messages to others or spread rumors using cell phones or computers. Teens have also created web pages, videos, and profiles on social networking sites making fun of others. With cell phones, youth have taken pictures in a bedroom, a bathroom, or another location where privacy is expected, and posted or distributed them online. More recently, some have recorded unauthorized videos of other kids and uploaded them for the world to see, rate, tag, and discuss.

At the Cyberbullying Research Center, we are dedicated to learning more about the nature and extent of cyberbullying so that we can equip adults and teens with resources to do something about it. Dr. Sameer Hinduja (Florida Atlantic University) and I have been exploring cyberbullying for the last 10 years, and while there is still a lot that we still don’t know, the cyberbullying picture is now starting to come into clearer focus.

To continue reading this on the HuffPost Tech Page, click here.

Technology is great and we know from our research that the vast majority of teens are using it safely and responsibly. But a few are creating problems for themselves or others by what they post online. That’s why we’ve partnered with Jostens to produce a number of useful resources for you to educate yourself or the teens in your life about the pitfalls associated with unwise postings. “Pause Before You Post” is a movement to remind students to carefully consider the consequences of posting something online. Whether they are posting something private about themselves or something hurtful about someone else, the costs can be steep. Here is a short video that introduces the campaign. You can also find a number of other short videos that feature Sameer and I talking about various issues related to teen technology use here.

One of the most popular documents we wrote for this program was “A Student’s Guide to Personal Publishing” which is available here. Jostens has put together a Pause Before You Post Kit that includes posters, pins, flyers, a DVD and CD with videos and curriculum based on our research. For more information about the kit, talk to your local Jostens representative or visit the Jostens web site. Since October is bullying awareness month, it is a good time to remind students to pause before they post!

I received an email from an educator who attended a recent presentation.  She asked if it is advisable for the parents of cyberbullying victims to contact the parents of the cyberbullies to try to resolve the situation.  This can be a very tricky proposition.  In theory, this seems like a very good approach and for many parents can be an effective strategy.  However, victims of any form of bullying are usually terrified by the prospects of this idea.  They believe that confronting the parents of the bully will only make matters worse.  And it certainly can, if the conversation is not approached delicately.

The problem is that some parents confronted with accusations that their child is a bully or cyberbully may become defensive and therefore may not be receptive to your thoughts, ideas, or any formal or informal intervention.  They might immediately put up a “wall” and become incredibly defensive. The key here really is to protect the safety of your bullied child.  As a parent about to have this conversation, first carefully weigh the various factors at hand and take into consideration the “totality of circumstances” as the courts like to say.  Do you know the parents?  How receptive do you think they would be? Is the bully a former friend of your child? Have there been problems in the past? Will you as a parent have to deal with collateral damage in other social situations, if you and the parent of the bully interact in other environments?

Sameer has heard of an instance where the father of a bully “got back” at the father of a victim by embarrassing him and picking on him in front of their other friends during their weekly softball games. Of course, middle-aged male softball players sometimes demonstrate exaggerated masculinity and work to display bravado and primitive strength in a collective setting. The pointed “elbow-ribbing” and tongue-in-cheek comments made the father of the victim feel ostracized and emasculated, since all of the other men all believed his own son should have been able to handle himself like a “real man” instead of tattling to “daddy.”

Also, if the students attend the same school, it is probably a good idea to inform the administration of the situation so that they can monitor the interactions at school to make sure there is no retaliation.  Moreover, I have found that school counselors are among the best at handling relationship problems and can offer advice about how to deal with what is going on.  They are often willing to intervene quietly in a way that stops the harassment without unduly instigating the bully or his/her family.

Because each situation is different and clearly complicated, it is difficult for me to say with any certainty that confronting the parents of the bully is a good idea.  All I can say is that if you choose this approach, be sure to tread lightly and keep in mind what life was like when you were a teenager.  Also consider how you would feel if someone confronted you about the behavior of your child.  It is easy to say that you would listen calmly and respond appropriately, but would you?  That crazy “do onto others” rule might apply to our behaviors as adults just as much as it does to what our children are doing.

If you are a teen and receive a sexually-explicit image of a classmate via your cell phone (or email, or instant message, or via a Nintendo Dsi, or any other type of electronic communication), what should you do? This can be a challenging situation, to say the least. We know that anywhere from 10-30% (or more) of teens have received such images, and many probably don’t know what to do. You have no doubt seen the examples in the media of teens being cyberbullied, arrested, or even committing suicide as a result of bad decisions involving the circulation of nude personal pictures. My thoughts here are intended to provide you (youth) with a specific and simple strategy to help avoid any of these consequences.

If you do receive such an image, odds are that it was sent by a good friend (or a boyfriend or girlfriend). As a result, you probably don’t want to get this person into too much trouble, but you figure that sending or receiving nude or semi-nude pictures of another teen is probably not going to lead to great things in life (because if you think about it, it is highly inappropriate, morally wrong, and potentially illegal). So what do you do? Well, most adults might advise you to “tell an adult you trust.” This is generally good advice, however in the case of a naked photo of an under-aged youth, this can be devastating for all involved. For example, if you show the image to a teacher, he or she is likely required to report it to the police. Teachers who don’t can lose their teaching license and/or be fired. If they don’t know what to do and seek guidance from a fellow teacher, they could get into even more trouble. For example, if you hand your cell phone with the nude image over to the teacher, and he or she shows another teacher, both teachers (and you) could be charged with “possession” of child pornography since they had possession of your phone. That’s because the police often treat these images as child pornography – irrespective of the intent of the sender or the relationship of those involved. This means that if you take the picture, you can be charged with “creation of child pornography.” If you send or forward the picture, you can be charged with “distribution of child pornography.” If you keep it on your phone, you can be charged with “possession of child pornography.” In some cases you could even end up on state sex offender registries.

My advice to teens who receive a nude or semi-nude image of a classmate is simple: immediately delete it. Don’t tell anyone about it. If there is an investigation and someone asks if you received the image, you should tell them yes, but that you immediately deleted it. If necessary, they can get your cell phone records from your service provider which will show that you deleted it within seconds of receiving it. This is the best situation for you. Of course, some adults aren’t going to like this advice because they want to be in the “know” to attempt to deal with the problem, but I think it is the only safe advice I can offer youth at this point.

The primary goal in sexting incidents is to limit the victimization of the person portrayed in the image. If the individual(s) who initially received the image immediately delete it, there would be no distribution and victimization would be minimized. Be sure to tell your friends that it is in their best interest not to hold onto or send these kinds of images. It just isn’t worth the potential long-term and irreversible consequences to your (and their) reputation.

If you find out that your friends are continuing to distribute naked pictures of themselves or others, you would be wise to let them know how such behavior can seriously mess up their future. Strongly encourage them to stop and to delete the images. If you are concerned about the well-being of the person depicted in the images, you may want to anonymously report the behavior to your school (if there is a way to do this).

We have said it many times on this blog, but it bears repeating here that neither Sameer nor I are attorneys, so you should not interpret this blog as formal legal counsel. We are simply looking out for the best interests of teens and those who interact with them. Stay tuned for a follow-up post in the near future on what teachers should do if a student tells them (or shows them) a sexting image involving a student.

Many of you perhaps already saw the brief comments I wrote for the New York Times Opinion Page in the aftermath of Tyler Clementi’s tragic suicide.  They asked me to comment on the extent to which this incident was typical of many cyberbullying cases that end in suicide and whether or not criminal action against the bullies is an appropriate response.  Below are my comments for those of you who hadn’t already seen them.  I also encourage everyone to explore the other perspectives included on the “Room for Debate” page.

Cyberbullying, while similar to traditional harassment, does have a different quality — namely, humiliating rumors and vicious taunts can be viewed by millions online and they can never be removed from the Internet. Cyberbullying laws are useful to the extent that they draw attention to this problem, but it is important that laws are crafted in a way that is informed by research, not singular high profile incidents.

The vast majority of cyberbullying incidents can and should be handled informally: with parents, schools, and others working together to address the problem before it rises to the level of a violation of criminal law.

Certainly, tragic incidents like suicide, thrust cyberbullying (and traditional bullying) into the public discussion. Prosecutors are forced to shoe-horn these incidents into existing statutes, and in some cases this is not done consistently or even appropriately.

It perhaps is not surprising that those incidents that result in significant harm to the target, such as a suicide, are handled more seriously by the criminal justice system. But to some extent this is true in other areas of criminal law. If I drive home from a party after having a few too many drinks, maybe I make it home without being caught. Or maybe I get pulled over and arrested for drunk driving. Or, maybe I swerve onto the shoulder and hit a pedestrian. In all cases I was engaged in the same illegal behavior. But the harm that results will, in some cases, become an important determinant of the appropriate punishment.