Combating Bullying During Kindness Week
In my line of work, I have the amazing opportunity to meet incredibly passionate educators who care so much about students – and do all they can to create and maintain positive climates in which those students can thrive. I’ve known Becky Nahrebeski, a 9th grade Global teacher, for a few years now, and finally had a chance to be a part of a Kindness Week she and her colleagues planned and put together in October. We are all about sharing success stories that encourage other administrators and teachers that bullying and cyberbullying can truly be combatted and addressed in creative and meaningful ways that make a real difference. It does take a lot of work, but it is so worth it when you get to see the results. I’ve asked Becky to share with our readers about the amazing things they’ve done (and are doing), and her thoughts are below:
Hamburg Central School District is a suburban district about 10 miles south of Buffalo, NY. We have a student body of roughly 3700 students K-12. We are a very high-achieving district. We are always ranked in the top 15 school districts for Western New York. We are ranked 81 in New York State and we are in the top 3% (ranked 682 out of 24,000) of schools nationwide and are a Silver Award winner according to U.S. News and World Report’s 2013 school rankings. We have amazing students that, after graduation, make us proud. We have dedicated teachers that love what they do. We have a supportive administration that has the best interest of the students at heart. We have fantastic parents that work with us and support us in any way they can. We have an unbelievable community that stands behind us and helps out wherever they can. Despite all of these fantastic parts working together, we still have students that hurt one another through bullying and cyberbullying.
We, as a district, refuse to ignore this issue. In our district, we have a DASA (Dignity for All Students) committee comprised of counselors, social workers, school psychologists, a teacher, and an administrator to deal specifically with bullying. This committee was started in preparation for the passage of New York State legislation (the DASA Act), and since 2011, we have been working on going through bullying reports to identify “hot spots” and determine our prevention efforts. We have attended countless conferences where we learn the latest research on what is happening. We educate parents, staff, students, and even our bus company on some of the best practices in bullying prevention. We meet monthly to stay on top of everything going on in the district.
One of our most esteemed achievements was the planning of an anti-bullying week for our district K-12. It was a massive undertaking, but well worth the hours we put in planning it. Our preparation leading up to this week included a contest entitled “Create a Culture of Kindness.” Students K-12 could enter the contest and compete in different categories. For example, they could write a poem, essay, or song. They could create an anti-bullying poster or public-service announcement video. The goal was for them to take their skillsets and talents and apply them to help transform our school communities by making it cool to care about others. The response we received was truly incredible. It is amazing how perceptive and intelligent our students are on the issue of bullying. It also became clear that it was an issue that our students cared deeply about, as was evident in some of their project submissions. We had well over 100 submissions and it was very emotional and difficult to choose our winners. If you ever are curious how deeply students care about the issue of bullying, put together a contest and you will see how affected your student population is.
Our week began on Monday with a staff meeting with Dr. Hinduja. He trained our staff and shared with us important information about school policy and the best prevention and response strategies that have evolved, and how all stakeholders must play a role. On Monday evening, we held a Youth Rally. We had all our contest entries displayed for everyone to see. We had vendor tables set up in our cafeteria for all to peruse. Attendees had an opportunity to create a link in our chain against bullying. Our band played, and our cheerleaders cheered, and it was a very festive and fun environment with snacks and beverages and a celebration of our students’ efforts! We announced all of our contest winners right at the beginning of the evening. Then we announced our guest speaker, Dr. Hinduja, who spoke to our attendees about technology and role of the parents in helping schools to combat the bullying/cyberbullying problem. He also allowed time for Q&A, which was really valuable to our parents.
On Tuesday, we started our day with a survey we gave to all of our students in grades 6-12. We wanted to make sure we could gauge how well all of our efforts were working throughout the course of this year. We plan on doing a post survey later this year to compare our data. All of the questions from our survey came from Dr. Hinduja’s book Bullying Beyond the Schoolyard. Then, Dr. Hinduja spoke to our middle school and high school students. He was dynamic and the kids really got a lot out of his presentation. He addressed everything from being smart online, protecting yourself by keeping your information locked down, and the impacts that bad decisions can have on your life. Students raved about how everything he discussed with them applies directly to them right now. They took a lot away from his presentation.
Students also watched the documentary “Bully.” This was a tremendous empathy-building opportunity. Students really got a strong message about not bullying and also to be a bystander that acts (upstander). They felt such sadness for the kids that were impacted by the bullying and many felt they would not allow something like that to occur in our schools. Students did debriefing activities for both of these activities where they had some discussion, some writing opportunities. They also made Sorry Slips, and participated in a Paperclip Pledge. A Sorry Slip is a slip of paper on which students can anonymously apologize for something they feel bad about. A Paperclip Pledge is where students vow to not bully, and to step in if someone is bullying. They get a paperclip with a ribbon and make a chain of paperclips, which then serves as a visual reminder of their promise. In all, it was a fantastic day.
On Wednesday, Dr. Hinduja, our high school drama club, and our DASA team traveled to all four of our elementary buildings. Dr. Hinduja spoke twice to each building to students grouped K-2 and again to students in grades 3-5. He was great even with these age groups and delivered a message that they related to. Opposite him, our HS drama club put on a performance of a skit they wrote and answered questions that they students had. Then each school had their own plan for the rest of the day. Throughout the rest of the week, our schools did follow-up activities that included pep rallies, classroom activities, and the hanging of visual reminders around the schools. One common thread in all of our elementary buildings was a Create a Culture of Kindness quilt. Each student created their own square by drawing or writing a message they got from the day. The squares were then put together to form quilts. It remains an awesome visual left over from our week.
The work in preparing for this week was intense, stressful, and at times, all-encompassing, but well worth every minute put into it. Our students raved about the week and asked that we “do stuff like that more often.” They made it clear that they don’t want our efforts to end there. As such, we have some follow-up activities loosely planned out for the spring. We are hoping to bring in a speaker for a one-hour assembly that can speak on the merits of being an upstander, and give our students some great ways to “step in” if they see an instance of bullying. We are also working on putting together a panel of students to share with our teachers what is really going on in our schools. We are also hoping to create a Public Service Announcement for our community. We have a lot of work ahead of us, but we remain inspired based on all of the progress we’ve made and interest we’ve received! In closing, I want to share the primary message we received from our students: they want to talk about these types of issues; they want to work with the adults in preventing instances of bullying!
New Year Ideas to Make Kindness Go Viral
Our first book for teens (Words Wound: Delete Cyberbullying and Make Kindness Go Viral) came out a few weeks ago, and we’re really excited about its potential impact among students who have dealt with online harassment and want to do something meaningful about it (check it out if you haven’t already!). That said, our publisher (Free Spirit Press) recently asked us to write a blog related to our work to encourage and equip educators with some ideas to kick-start 2014 with school back in session! We thought we would share it with our readers below, and so let us know your thoughts….
The beginning of a new year is a good time to reflect on the previous year while setting goals for the future. Most New Year’s resolutions focus on self-improvement goals (such as dieting, exercising, or learning a new skill). But why not also resolve to work toward an other-focused goal—and do your part to contribute to a better, kinder world? Lots of people share, tweet, and otherwise circulate “feel good” stories on social media about how others demonstrate compassion. The people who circulate them are personally moved. However, have you ever been moved to the point of paying it forward yourself, or—even better—helping to create a legacy of kindness? Your position as a parent or educator offers you the ability to influence legions of kind kids through modeling and intentional instruction.
Interestingly, research now shows that people who learn about, and practice demonstrating, compassion and kindness toward others are more likely to establish long-term patterns of positive behavior. Dr. Richard Davidson at the University of Wisconsin in Madison and his colleagues have been studying the ways that compassionate behavior actually changes the brain. They found that “participants who learned compassion were more generous” and that “greater generosity . . . was associated with changes in the brain’s response to human suffering in regions involved in empathy and increasing positive emotions.” In short, encouraging kids and teens to be kind and caring can result in neurological changes that may lead to expanded and consistent empathy and compassion toward others.
With that in mind, here are some ways you can encourage the children and teens in your life to delete cyberbullying and make kindness go viral in the New Year.
Set Up a Social Media Compliments Page Most teens have a profile on one or more social networking platforms and are very comfortable navigating these environments. Perhaps you could encourage them to set up a separate account for the purpose of dishing out anonymous accolades to their classmates. This idea was made famous by Kevin Curwick’s “OsseoNiceThings” Twitter feed and Jeremiah Anthony’s “West High Bros” Facebook compliments page. Now dozens of social media accounts have been set up by teens for the purpose of encouraging and praising their peers.
Participate in Random Acts of Kindness More and more individuals in all walks of life are realizing that it’s actually really cool to be kind. It’s even cooler when kindness is dished out anonymously and unexpectedly. Encourage your students or children to engage in random acts of kindness in their school or broader community. Search online for examples of young people being kind to others to give them inspiration. Dozens of videos and even a Twitter hashtag (#RandomActofKindness) can direct you to ideas as well.
Create a Public Service Announcement Many teens have great ideas for promoting positivity that they would love to share with others. Give them creative freedom and let them loose to script out and record a short video with the simple purpose of encouraging others to be kind. They could interview their classmates or “famous” people in their school or community (like the principal or mayor). Leave it up to them about how to approach the activity—they’ll surprise you and hopefully come up with something really compelling! Then you can upload it to YouTube, your school’s Web page, or social media accounts, and otherwise use it as a teaching tool to reach so many others!
Make Posters A simple activity that kids of all ages can tackle is to design inspirational posters that can be plastered on walls around the school. It doesn’t take much artistic talent to inspire others to be kind with drawings or creative slogans. Teachers could work with a particular class or a specific subset of students to produce posters that could be covertly placed all over the school on Friday afternoon or over the weekend. The rest of the student body will return on Monday and be totally inspired by what they see all around them.
Promoting kindness doesn’t have to be a big production. The best ideas are often among the simplest. If you are an educator, maybe spend some time in the classroom brainstorming some ideas with your students. Parents, too, can talk with their children about ways to eliminate cruelty and encourage compassion. Working together, parents, teachers, and kids and teens can make tremendous strides toward combating cruelty in all its forms in 2014. Don’t just share stories of kindness. Make it a priority to write your own, and help others to do so as well!
Image source: http://bit.ly/1cNoNKr
Elementary Student Assembly
This presentation introduces upper elementary-aged students, usually 3rd, 4th, or 5th graders, to issues associated with the responsible use of technology. It encourages them to be open with their parents about what they are doing online, and teaches them to be wise when posting information or interacting with others on the Internet.
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How to Report Cyberbullying on Instagram
Recently, we’ve discussed general safety tips for teens related to Instagram, and also fleshed out in detail how individuals are cyberbullied on Instagram. Today, I thought I’d summarize the ways in which teens (and adults) should use the social media platform to reduce their chances of victimization and to have the most enjoyable and hassle-free experience.
When you’re tagged in a photo that you can see that you dislike or is cruel or embarrassing, you can click on it and Hide it from your profile, Remove yourself from the photo, and/or Report it as Inappropriate to the site. All of these options are available by selecting the photo, clicking your name (the tag), and then choosing from the various options presented. They are also available by clicking on the […] button to the right of the Like and Comment buttons at the bottom of every picture.
Always remember that you can report *any* inappropriate picture posted by someone else in that manner – by selecting the […] button. Please know that when you “report” a photo, the person you are reporting against doesn’t ever find out that it was you who reported against them. You remain anonymous. Instagram then just simply looks into the matter to verify whether the picture is, in fact, inappropriate. If it is, they will delete it.
Let’s say someone is being a jerk to you on Instagram in numerous ways. If you go to that user’s page, at the top right is an icon that looks like a box with an arrow flying out of it (if you use iOS devices, you are very familiar with this icon as it represents “Send…”). Clicking on that button will allow you to Block that user, or Report him/her for Spam. When you block someone, that person can’t search for you or view your photos – and they don’t get any sort of notification that they have been blocked. If you have mutual followers, though, that person can still see the likes and comments you make on other people’s pictures (you don’t become completely invisible to each other, like on Facebook).
Even if you block someone, you can still be mentioned in captions and comments with your username (in my case, @hinduja) and cyberbullied in that way. What you have to do then is to Block that person, and change your username (under Edit Your Profile, accessible via the right-most button in the main navigation bar at the bottom of Instagram). I know this is a chore, and you probably don’t want to do that – but it’s an option if absolutely necessary.
When it comes to comments on pictures, always remember that you can manually delete ones that are harmful or humiliating – or report them. If it is on your picture, click the Comment button, and then swipe on the problematic comment. This will give you access to a trash can icon – allowing you to either Delete it and Report it as abusive, or simply to Delete it. If it is on someone else’s picture, do that person (and cyberspace) a favor by clicking the Comment button, swiping on the problematic content, and Report it (using the icon with an exclamation point on a stop sign). Eliminate hate. All the cool kids are doing it. And it’s definitely worth the two seconds it takes. Again, the person you are reporting against never learns who flagged them, their image, or their comment.
Finally, a point I made in a previous blog bears repeating: to avoid stress and headaches that might come from dealing with unwelcome interactions from people you don’t really want to know or be in touch with, set your Photos to Private. This one step does so much to keep you in control of your content. Try not to simply desire to connect with as many other Instagram users as possible, just to raise the number of your Followers. You’ll never be satisfied. Rather, have quality interactions on Instagram with people that you like and know, and want to be in friendship/relationship with. The bonding experiences over pictures and captions and comments and hashtags become so much more meaningful. It’s like you’re actually sharing your life with people that are in your life. And they’re doing the same! Hope this helps!
Cyberbullying on Instagram
Last time, I shared my viewpoints on Instagram safety in a general way. Today, I’m going to talk about cyberbullying that occurs on Instagram. As I mentioned, Instagram is minimalistic and intentionally doesn’t provide a lot of features that you might find on Facebook. This also means that various forms of victimization – identity theft, impersonation, intellectual property theft, grooming by sexual predators, private threats, and hate speech going completely viral – are rarely going to happen. In what ways, though, can you bully, mistreat, or humiliate someone on the site?
1. You can post a malicious or embarrassing photo of a target for all of your followers to see.
2. You can caption a gross or disgusting or otherwise insulting or demeaning photo with a target’s username and perhaps a negative sentiment (for example, uploading a picture of a sumo wrestler and then captioning with something like “this reminds me of @hinduja”…I’ll let your mind come up with much more offensive and hurtful examples)
3. You can post cruel comments under a photo that someone posts.
4. Different than adding a username in a caption or a comment, you can tag a user through the new “Add People” feature on the Share screen – where the tag is added to the image itself. If your Instagram profile is public, anyone can see it – and it could go viral. If your profile is private, and the target is not following you, they will not be notified or be able to see the photo, tag(s), caption, comments. Which could be completely awful, where they are humiliated or harassed until a sympathetic friend finally clues them in.
4. You can add hateful hashtags under a photo that you post (in the caption or comments) or that someone else posts (in the comments). For example, #dork or #loser or #fuglyslut or #tryweightwatchers or #crackwhore or #cantbelievesheworethat or #peoplewhoshouldoffthemselves. Once again, I’ll let your mind come up with a million more that are so much worse.
5. You can create a fake account to impersonate someone else, and be cruel through pictures, captions, comments, and hashtags.
Here are a few stories from some teens who have talked with us about their experiences on Instagram:
“Last year I got an Instagram account made about me. The got pictures off my Instagram and posted it on theirs. I was being called a w****, s***, and a b****. I was so upset, that I self-harmed. But then I realized that I had to stay strong so I stopped. Then on may 2 I got 4 more made about me and doing the same thing except calling me a lesbian. This time I got help, and it got taken down. From this day police are still trying to find out who made the account. Stay. Strong.” 13 year-old girl from Tennessee
“I am 18 years old. This year on the 2nd week of school, I parked my car crooked. A girl in my class took a picture of it and put it on Instagram stating that I couldn’t park because I was deaf. That picture circulated. A boy in my class posted on twitter the next day “Tomorrow is national Park like a Retard day. AKA park like “MB day”. The next day 30 cars parked crooked in the school parking lot. I went to the office and told my principal and he put parking tickets on their windows. My name was all over twitter and Facebook and everyone tried to make an a** out of me.” ~ 18 year-old female from Pennsylvania
“I posted a picture of myself on Instagram and people started commeting these awful things like “Eww ur so ugly” “Why don’t you go kill urslef everyone would be happier that way” And I KNOW these people…they go to my school. I cried for a good 2 hours. But this wasn’t the first time this has happened on all my pictures at least 3 people say something like that. I’m never going on Instagram again. I wish I could disapear so I don’t I have to go to school.” ~ 12 year-old girl from Colorado
To be sure, these unfortunate, sad, and frustrating experiences could have occurred to youth in any online environment. Instagram is not the problem. Social media is not the problem. Technology is not the problem. It is the underlying issues of peer conflict, immaturity, insecurity, ethics, socioemotional dysfunctions, and behavioral issues that foster instances of online bullying among individuals. And that is something we must all continue to target, so that we can make further headway in safeguarding, equipping, and empowering our youth as they navigate the difficult waters of adolescence. Next time we’ll discuss how cyberbullying can be prevented and combated on Instagram.