The Cyberbully Next Door

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I was recently talking to a colleague (who is an economist at my University) and he told me of an experience that recently happened with his daughter.  She was at a get-together at a hotel in our city where alcohol was being served. Somehow the police found out about the party and busted all of the under-aged drinkers.  My friend’s 18-year-old daughter had very little to drink, so the cops just sent her home with a warning.  Others in the group weren’t as lucky.  The students who were busted later learned that the cops found out about the party because one particular person who was on her way to the party was pulled over by the police and she had told them that she was on her way to a party at that particular hotel.  It goes without saying that those who got busted were not happy about this.  In response, my friend’s daughter “anonymously” created a Facebook page making fun of this girl and calling her out for being a “rat,” among other disparaging remarks. This is an example of cyberbullying.

This anecdote is consistent with our research which demonstrates that many cyberbullies engage in online aggression because they feel they have been affronted (either online or off).  They also don’t think they will get caught or fully think through the consequences of their actions.  Well, the Facebook page was easily traced back to my friend’s daughter and, of course, he had a good talk with his daughter.  My friend doesn’t consider his daughter to be a bully; nor does his daughter view herself as a bully.  Nevertheless, even good kids make mistakes, and, unfortunately with the age of technology, small lapses in judgment can result in serious problems.  Do yourself a favor if you have teen-aged kids who are online: talk to them about these issues NOW so you don’t have to do it after an incident occurs.  Good luck.

14 Comments

  1. Having a little sister of my own who is sixteen, I often see her and her various friends at my house having 'sleep-overs.' I do not know if I should even call them sleep overs, as they just spend the whole night gossiping about other people. This gossiping usually leads to just picking on other people. They sit on AIM or MSN and talk behind other girls' backs or laugh at pictures of other people. I do not understand this. However, research suggests this is not at all uncommon. There seems to be an egocentric phenomenon in much of this cyberbullying behavior. Many kids not only believe they are better than other peers; they set out to prove this at the expense of others.

  2. Having a little sister of my own who is sixteen, I often see her and her various friends at my house having 'sleep-overs.' I do not know if I should even call them sleep overs, as they just spend the whole night gossiping about other people. This gossiping usually leads to just picking on other people. They sit on AIM or MSN and talk behind other girls' backs or laugh at pictures of other people. I do not understand this. However, research suggests this is not at all uncommon. There seems to be an egocentric phenomenon in much of this cyberbullying behavior. Many kids not only believe they are better than other peers; they set out to prove this at the expense of others.

  3. well i think that cyberbullying is just annyoing. People do it to either make themselves feel better or because the have a lot on their chest and want to get it off, but not face to face. So over the internet makes it eaiser on them, because they can only get a reaction of words. I'm not a cyberbully nor have I been a victum, but there have been a time where someone said something rude about me. I just dont take things to heart like others, thats another problem, yeah cyberbullying or any bullying is wrong, but it all depends on your reaction. If you let it get to you then yeah you may do something sucicidal but if you just forget about it and know that you are none of those nasty mean things then you will be fine. So yeah the bully is wrong but dont let the bully win by a horrible response. One thing i say is dont let anything a little as words take your life, because all they are are words and how people think of you, and if you worry what people think then you are setting yourself up for easy tormenting, just know your you, and love yourself.

  4. well i think that cyberbullying is just annyoing. People do it to either make themselves feel better or because the have a lot on their chest and want to get it off, but not face to face. So over the internet makes it eaiser on them, because they can only get a reaction of words. I'm not a cyberbully nor have I been a victum, but there have been a time where someone said something rude about me. I just dont take things to heart like others, thats another problem, yeah cyberbullying or any bullying is wrong, but it all depends on your reaction. If you let it get to you then yeah you may do something sucicidal but if you just forget about it and know that you are none of those nasty mean things then you will be fine. So yeah the bully is wrong but dont let the bully win by a horrible response. One thing i say is dont let anything a little as words take your life, because all they are are words and how people think of you, and if you worry what people think then you are setting yourself up for easy tormenting, just know your you, and love yourself.

  5. I think you make a great point, Orreshia.

    Cyberbullying, to me however, seems to stem from different outlets online that act like personal journal entries. These entries start from personal issues that are not confronted in proper ways. Ignoring bullying, like I was taught at a younger age, may work when it comes to non-personal issues walking down the halls of a middle school. From personal experience, I found that ignoring the issue does not work when the outlets for these issues are online in blogs; which are being utilized as an exit for feelings that the younger generations do not know how to expel properly, or respectfully. Mainly because once they use this outlet to “vent,” the blog/website stays online for a longer period than their upset feelings on that personal issue. Where intervening will only create more issues between the two or more people. I do think a lot more of myself than what was said by a once good friend so I don’t take it to heart, but at the same time I do not want that to pop up when future employers google my name…who really prevails; taking the high road, or standing your ground?

  6. I think you make a great point, Orreshia.

    Cyberbullying, to me however, seems to stem from different outlets online that act like personal journal entries. These entries start from personal issues that are not confronted in proper ways. Ignoring bullying, like I was taught at a younger age, may work when it comes to non-personal issues walking down the halls of a middle school. From personal experience, I found that ignoring the issue does not work when the outlets for these issues are online in blogs; which are being utilized as an exit for feelings that the younger generations do not know how to expel properly, or respectfully. Mainly because once they use this outlet to “vent,” the blog/website stays online for a longer period than their upset feelings on that personal issue. Where intervening will only create more issues between the two or more people. I do think a lot more of myself than what was said by a once good friend so I don’t take it to heart, but at the same time I do not want that to pop up when future employers google my name…who really prevails; taking the high road, or standing your ground?

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  9. Today I actually witnessed cyberbullying on a website mentioned called facebook. A younger friend of mine (in the adolescent age group) had her cell phone stolen and who ever took it had something against her. They talked about her and her boyfriend. They called her inappropriate names and it was very shocking reading it because my friend never uses swear words on her facebook. I think the person who stole her phone is jealous of her and how much she is liked by so many. The last thing my friend posted on facebook is that she just wants to go far away. She said that the person who hacked her page was ruining her life. I instantly sent her a message on a new profile she created and told her to keep her head up. It’s very hard enduring such hate like that. My friend is really into her religion and the person went as far to say that “she shouldn’t trust in God if this is what will happen.” People are just unsatisfied with minding there own business and it’s really sad.

  10. Today I actually witnessed cyberbullying on a website mentioned called facebook. A younger friend of mine (in the adolescent age group) had her cell phone stolen and who ever took it had something against her. They talked about her and her boyfriend. They called her inappropriate names and it was very shocking reading it because my friend never uses swear words on her facebook. I think the person who stole her phone is jealous of her and how much she is liked by so many. The last thing my friend posted on facebook is that she just wants to go far away. She said that the person who hacked her page was ruining her life. I instantly sent her a message on a new profile she created and told her to keep her head up. It’s very hard enduring such hate like that. My friend is really into her religion and the person went as far to say that “she shouldn’t trust in God if this is what will happen.” People are just unsatisfied with minding there own business and it’s really sad.

  11. According to an article on this site :
    http://www.nbc-2.com/Global/story.asp?S=13837734

    Two teen girls created fake facebook pages to harass another girl that “nobody likes” said one of two. I honestly think that is just terrible that people have the time to do such things. This goes back to facebook and how many teens grasp to the technology advances. In this article it talks about how they put a picture of the victims head on a nude body which is another technology advance from my perspective. Another thing that is mentioned both in the article and in the chapter is commenting. In the article it says that many people commented on the picture. Anyone can anonymously comment because it doesn’t take much effort. This whole story is unfortunate.

  12. According to an article on this site :
    http://www.nbc-2.com/Global/story.asp?S=13837734

    Two teen girls created fake facebook pages to harass another girl that “nobody likes” said one of two. I honestly think that is just terrible that people have the time to do such things. This goes back to facebook and how many teens grasp to the technology advances. In this article it talks about how they put a picture of the victims head on a nude body which is another technology advance from my perspective. Another thing that is mentioned both in the article and in the chapter is commenting. In the article it says that many people commented on the picture. Anyone can anonymously comment because it doesn’t take much effort. This whole story is unfortunate.

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